The Sins of My Humans

Why do you take forever on weekends to get your shoes on, get dressed and take me out so I can answer nature's call? Why do you insist on having a leiseruely cup of coffee, or sometimes an entire breakfast first? You were the ones who decided to drink that bottle of merlot last night...I sighed from my kennel as you drank the last of it, because I knew you would be extra sluggish in the morning, whining about how you are stuffy (well, you KNEW that wine aggravates your allergies!), or how tired you are, blah blah blah. And for the record, when you do take me out to do my business, you do not need to say "Go pee pee" and "Go poo poo" over and over AND OVER! I'll do what I need to do, thank you very much! And you have to scoop it...it's the law. Hmmm...I'm going to go see if I can bite through that bottle of hand lotion that smells like peaches...